Thursday, October 11, 2012

Remember That One Time I Gave You an Enema

I have been pregnant 3 times, and recently I have been seeing a lot of pregnant bloggers, something must be in the water. When I was pregnant with my first baby it was not all happiness and joy about the life I was creating, in fact I was miserable. I was extremely nauseous and vomiting the ENTIRE time, seriously I only remember not feeling sick when I was, hmm let's see, sleeping. I had the super mommy nose, you know the one where you can smell the poopy diaper of a child at the park that is 3 blocks from your house? When you pair that with nausea and vomiting, you have a bad combo. But those things were not even the worst part-I also had an extreme case of, how should I say this? I'll just call it what it is, constipation.
 When I meet our gracious Creator I am going to ask Him about that one, like squeezing the little peeps out isn't hard enough. For 40 weeks before, which by the way is actually closer to 10 months, we have to have sewage blocks within our intestinal tract, vomiting and smelling everything within a mile radius, not to mention the back pain, don't get me started!

But back to my story, I remember when I was about 5 months pregnant (1st time) and I had not gone #2 in about 6 days, seriously I felt as though the food I was eating stayed in my throat because it had nowhere to go. The doctor suggested an enema, I was mortified by this, you mean he has to do what? My husband offered to do it for me (yet another reason I love this man). I have always been embarrassed by stuff like this, but my husband had no issues with it. I felt so weird going to Walgreens to buy the supplies but I knew what had to be done.
I will so clearly remember being in my parents house in the basement bathroom, now my hubby has broad shoulders and this bathroom is only about 4' X 5', it is teeny, so needless to say we were stuffed in there, pun fully intended. The space was small, I was trying to get 6 days worth of poo out, and my husband was right there with me. I remember filling the thing with  water, and thinking "you have to stick that in my what?"  I don't know who has ever done one of these things but you use something that looks like this:

Everything felt so awkward about the whole situation, my husband being so close to me in a small area while I was trying going to the bathroom, my husband doing the actual enema, especially when the precautions talked about a certain cavity too much for my comfort, and it was traumatizing. I will forever have nightmarish memories of that fateful night in a tiny bathroom but the only thing my husband ever says (with a laugh) is
 "remember that one time I gave you an enema?"
Oh yes, how could I forget? Is always my reply

The good news is that it worked like a charm and an hour later when we emerged from that tiny bathroom, I felt much better.

Moral of the Story:pregnancy has sucky parts and hopefully reading this story made you laugh a bit.

Question of the Day: Did this make you laugh? Do you have any funny pregnancy stories?


  1. honestly, pregnancy stories scare the hell out of me. Especially being a newly wed mormon girl in Provo Utah where the first question out of everyone's mouth is, "So when are you going to have a baby?"
    uggggh. I know I'll love the thing when I have it, but let's not put a time crunch on it, shall we?

    but yes, the enima story did make me laugh. :)
    xx Whitney

  2. oh no! i would've been so embarrassed too! i didn't have any constipation problems during either pregnancies, but i did AFTER both! i had an episiotomy the first time, and i seriously thought they sewed my butt shut! hahaha

  3. I just wanna say that I love poop posts, and this one did not disappointment. Good job, Momma, and you've got a good man! ;)

  4. LMAO! OMG! That was hilarious! Thankfully I never had those issues!

  5. Thank you Erin, they usually do not disappoint and yes my man is amazing :)

  6. Whitney I didn't mean to scare you and girl I know all about the baby questions, it gets super annoying and quick ;)

  7. Holly you are so lucky that this did not plague you because it sucks big time!

  8. Army wife, I am happy you have never had these issues :)

  9. Newest follower here! Cute blog, I can't wait to read more.

  10. I laughed out loud! Thank you for sharing : )

  11. You poor thing! And you DO have a good man. I have experience my share of "blockage" being pregnant this time around. I didnt have a problem before. Go figure. Although the one trick I did learn is that carrots help move things along. LOL. For future reference :)


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