Wednesday, June 26, 2013

The 5 People You'll Meet at the Grocery Store

Today I went grocery shopping, shocking I know. We were out of town for 10 days so our fridge was barren. I went out of town for a girls weekend and all the hubs bought while I was gone was Oreos, milk, and root beer float supplies basically the necessities.

Over the past couple weeks I have noticed 5 different types of people at the grocery store and today I am going to introduce you to them, no lie these really happened.

1-The Sampler
This lady needs to sample produce before purchasing it, just to ensure the quality.  I have been known to sample a grape or two in my day, because really who wants to pay $2.99/lb for grapes that make you pucker up? Not I. But this lady takes it a few steps further, she samples strawberries, tomatoes and even takes bites out of peaches to make sure they are delicious. This sampler then leaves her bitten peaches on the fruit display, no lie she bit about 4 peaches before walking away.

2-The Snacker
This person has a full on snack while grocery shopping, they open bags of chips and eat them, grab a fried chicken wing and munch down while crusin' the cereal aisle. I often open packs of animal crackers to soothe anxious tots in the store, but I take the bag (empty or not) up to the register and pay for it. Last week I saw 3 people in the nutrition aisle filling their hands and pockets with nuts and such from the bulk bins. First of all you aren't supposed to even sample these items, and second of all they each probably ate a pound of nuts before leaving the aisle.
Words of wisdom to the snacker- this is not Costco, if you snack on chips please bring the empty bag up front and buy them, also the bulk bins are not a sample station.

3-The Nose Picker
They proceed to dig for gold in their nasal cavity then go ahead and touch all the apples with the same hand.
Words of wisdom to the nose picker- I see you and it's gross. Keep your boogers to yourself, grab a tissue and for Pete's sake don't touch the fruit!
4-The Screamer
This person usually stands in one aisle and screams to their shopping buddy who is at least 4 aisles away, they also yell for employees to help them. True story I witnessed a woman standing in one aisle yelling for "some help", was there an emergency? No she just didn't want to walk to another aisle and find an employee to help her with the cookies.
Words of wisdom to the screamer- Just go find them, really it's better for everyone.

5-The Stank Face Giver (SFG)
This person will stand and stare at you with the stank face because you don't magically move your cart when they come down the aisle. They don't say anything they just expect their magical stank face to send a message to your brain with their request for you to move.
Words of wisdom to the SFG- Say EXCUSE ME! I apologize but I can't exactly balance 3 girls, a coupon binder, a grocery list and a meal plan while interpreting your stank face signals, so words really help.
Question of the Day: Have you met any of these people at the grocery store?

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  1. Bahaha... Oh man. Remind me not to shop at your grocery store! I can't even believe the lady with the peaches... WHO DOES THAT? Maybe the nose picker was just trying to teach the sampler a good lesson? I will smell items and put them back. But, I've never even thought of tasting them! Great post.

  2. hahah this is awesome. i have definitely come across the sample at new seasons before. lady took like 12 little sample cups of the soup of the day instead of you know, buying it.

  3. OMG...this is just too funny and YES I have met these people. What is wrong with people? Seriously? There are also the old ladies and men who will give you the death glare if your kid does anything out of line. Seriosuly I don't think your kids were perfect you jerk. I just tell my son he is being good and let him scream a bit louder, LOL.

  4. Thanks for the laugh, great post!


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